Tomorrow morning at 8:30 am sharp I and/or Peapod will arrive semi-nervously and plop a clear plastic container "filled" with my mostly defective seed. I always laugh when they give you this enormous container. Maybe if I was an elephant....
Tomorrow is our first IUI procedure. Per the fertility doctors.. they're going to run my boys through an obstacle course. Then only the best of the best will be loaded up in a tube and shot into my wife. Weird and completely uncomfortable.. yucky almost. Plus.. I've never been good at obstacle courses, what if my boys aren't and we don't get any?
Honestly, the thing that actually bothers me most about our situation is that it's "my fault". Oh I'm not really blaming myself, but every result for Peapod is perfect. She has great lining, she has wonderful follicles, etc.. etc... Peapod has the reproductive equivalent of a DaVinci painting. In the meantime my active sperm count is around 100,000 guys that are good to go. I'm much more of the Edsel of sperm production.
We reached the stage where the urologist, Dr. B, stated that it's genetic and there isn't really much that can be done. Essentially, I'm a Mutant, but not one that would make it into Professor X's academy.
There are solutions to our problem, and I do have some swimmers which gives us hope, but all the solutions involve torturing my wife with hormones, needles, and weird medical instruments. I mean, if I'm broken shouldn't I have to go through the discomfort? The weirdness of it all? At best.. I get some alone time and feel slightly awkward as I let the always female receptionist know I'm finished. So I take my multi-vitamin, wear boxers, and chew down on vitamin C.
I'm not the most religious person, but I pray that this procedure works. Not for me, but for Peapod. I really hope this IUI works, and if not this time the next time. I don't want her to go through the pain of IVF and the high chance of it not working.
Infertility is one of the crappiest mutant powers you can get.
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